B-Grade
The Colony 2013
It's not a problem until it's a problem. 
Hang on a sec..
This seems awfully familiar.. That's right.. It's The Day After Tomorrow meets John Carpenter's Ghost of Mars. Except worse. The premise for me is enough to draw me in. I expect B-grade and B-Grade i shall have. These are the films reserved for "I've got nothing else to watch" or you could play Fresh Deck Poker on the couch whilst watching this one.
The film is set in the distant future post global warming. The way things are heading this could end up being the fate of the human race. This or something out of Mad Max, where gangs fight for food water & fuel. But I digress.. A group of survivors have banded together and formed what they call the title of the film The Colony. Rations and supplies are dwindling each day and the biggest threat they face is the sniffly common cold. A simple flu without medication is enough to wipe out the remaining colonists. *Ahhhh Chewww..* Sorry bout that.
Measures are taken to quarantine any signs of sick individuals in a vain attempt to stop from spreading. 
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The names of Laurence "take the red pill blue pill Fishburne & Bill "Game over Man!" Paxton were seemingly enough to say "Sure I got a spare 1.5 hours". At least Fishburnes performance was adequate. Paxton seems to be barely trying. I mean he did show up so that counts for something.
Kevin Zegers who I recall from epic remake Dawn of the Dead plays alongside Fishburne as Sam.
Sam has a weak relationship with fellow colonist & love interest Kai (Charlotte Sullivan).
After Colony 7 loses radio contact with Colony 5. Sam and Briggs (Fishburne) venture out on foot to investigate.
Through the icy sets & freezing CGI blizzards they make it to Colony 5. Shit has hit the fan and it is spinning on the highest setting. They witness splashes of blood sprayed on the walls and puddles amongst the rooms. No bodies - no survivors. This would be enough to send you with your bags in the other direction but Fishburne has to see whats up! They descend deeper within the underground facility to uncover a rather unsavoury group of angry cannibals. |
"It's not a problem until it's a problem."
Err.. it's a problem. (This quote is taken out of context) Why is it that cannibals A) Don't have dialogue B) Are always angry 
You never really ever meet a nice cannibal do you? I mean, then you could probably talk your way out of being the main or something..?
Now to be clear. There are good films & there are films you can enjoy. This is not a good film and to say you can enjoy this.. Meh.. The right amount of beer and lust for B-Grade should be enough power you through. I give this gluttonous appetite- 5.5 turn arounds.. shits it's too late.. out of 10 |
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